We parents are ruining our children with every decision we make, and there’s nothing we can do about it, according to the internet chorus.

What did we do to enrage every modern parenting expert (even those “experts” in every internet comment section)?

1. When we became pregnant, we were too young.

2. When we became pregnant, we were far too old.

3. During our pregnancy, we didn’t get enough exercise.

4. We overworked ourselves during pregnancy.

5. Our pregnancies were helped by fertility treatments.

6. Surrogacy was our choice.

7. We made the decision to adopt.

8. We decided to give our child up for adoption.

9. We made the decision to get an abortion.

10. While pregnant, we ate the incorrect cheese.

11. While pregnant, we didn’t microwave our lunch meat.

12. We had our baby in a hospital.

13. We had our baby at home.

14. An epidural was used.

15. We didn’t engage in skin-to-skin contact right after our baby was born.

16. We took our infant with us wherever we went.

17. We were unable to obtain the appropriate baby carrier.

18. We weren’t using the proper stroller.

19. We walked with the help of a stroller (and everyone knows that means a child will grow up thinking we want to push them away from us).

20. We’ve put our faith in our pediatrician’s advice.

21. Our pediatrician’s opinion has been called into question.

22. We have an excessive number of children.

23. We are the parents of an only child (poor impoverished soul).

24. Our babies were fed formula.

25. We breastfeed for an excessive amount of time.

26. We didn’t breastfeed for a long enough period of time.

27. “Mom hair” is what we call it. (It appears that “mom-anything” denotes a lady who has given up on the world.)

28. We’ve developed a “dad bod.” (I’m not sure what anyone meant by gender equality when they said equal body-shaming.)

29. We hover over our kids like a chopper.

30. We don’t keep a close enough eye on our youngsters.

31. While our kids were at the playground, we checked our phones. (How wonderful is humanity!)

32. We’re both single moms and dads.

33. We’re no longer married.

34. We’re in a relationship with the same gender.

35. Our family is structured in a conventional manner.

36. Our children attend public school.

37. Our children attend a private school.

38. Our children are educated at home.

39. We are city dwellers.

40. We live in the outskirts of town.

41. We reside on the outskirts of town.

42. We have chosen to stay at home with our children.

43. We have jobs that require us to leave the house.

44. We’ve enlisted the help of a babysitter.

45. We entrust our children to a daycare centre.

46. We don’t have any childcare assistance. (It takes a village, but having a village is a luxury.) Alternatively, a privillage. (Excuse the pun.)

47. Our children have been raised to be vegans or vegetarians.

48. Our children often consume hot dogs and pre-packaged, GMO-laced, high-fructose-corn-syrup-laced snacks.

49. Our children are praised for their ability rather than their efforts, and for their deeds rather than their character. (Trying to keep up with all of these restrictions is hard.)

50. We’ve had the audacity to make any kind of parenting decision.

So good luck not destroying your children! The best we can reasonably aspire for is to parent our children with love and compassion, and to treat everyone with respect and decency, including other parents.

That, as far as I’m aware, has never damaged anyone.


  1. Is it normal to feel like a failure as a parent?

    Frequently, the behaviour is a normal part of development.

    They’re exhausted and need to be alone for a moment to unwind after a long day. Rather than taking it personally and feeling like her relationship with her kid is a failure because of it, she has shifted her perspective.

  2. How do you know you’re failing as a parent?

    – You’re to fault for your children’s demeanour (which are rubbing off on the younger ones)
    – You’re fatigued by the end of the day because of your toddler’s incessant tantrums and crying.
    – No matter how much you try to make the infant happy, she never seems to be satisfied. You feel bad about not spending enough time with your children.

  3. What are the signs of a bad mother?

    The 8 Symptoms of Poor Parenting
    – Your Child Is Being Ignored and Neglected.
    – Abuse, either physical or verbal.
    – Setting a Poor Example
    – Partiality vs. Favoritism.
    – Oppressive, Overbearing Authoritarianism.
    – Financially irresponsible behaviour.
    – Pampering or interfering excessively.
    – Not Trusting the Child.

  4. What do parents struggle with the most?

    Parents are constantly confronted with unpleasant concerns such as punishment, poor friend selections, their children’s poor decision-making, and school troubles. The most difficult parenting challenges aren’t usually about the child; rather, it’s the parent’s issues that make things more difficult.