1. Teething
2. Growth spurt
3. Can’t vote
4. Pining for the fjords
5. Can’t walk, blames you
6. Just an asshole
7. Retroactively upset about the “Lost” finale
8. Too hot
9. Too cold
10. Paste! The whole time the necklace was made of PASTE!
11. Time slipping through her fingers too quickly
12. Wants a pacifier
13. Remembered on this day in a past life she lost a pocket watch
14. Overtired
15. Had a premonition of a future where insects are our main protein source
16. Standardized testing
17. Clowns
18. Gas
19. One of those baby illnesses that worries you to death for three days then goes away on its own
20. Bored
21. Resemblance between crib and a jail cell suddenly occurred to her
22. No matter how hard she tries, can’t eat toes
23. Mobile getting too predictable, JUST SAW THAT STAR DAMMIT
24. Wants a new lullaby
25. Can’t get tickets to Hamilton
26. Separation anxiety
27. Batman villains are cooler than Batman himself
28. Global warming
29. Everything is a goddamn remake
30. Joni Mitchell will never be acknowledged for her genius
31. Tag on sleep sack is itchy
32. Needs a diaper change
33. Needs a witness
34. Needs somebody to lean on
35. Wants daddy
36. Re-asserting rightful position as center of the universe
37. Can’t get comfortable
38. Plans for world domination thwarted by inability to read
39. Impatient to have a birthday
40. Thinks she’s singing Puccini right now
41. Ear infection
42. Fuller House
43. Wants a dog
44. Sleeves. Sleeves are the worst.
45. Exercising her vocal cords
46. Knows what you did last summer
47. Wants wheels instead of these useless legs
48. Trying to make you feel guilty, succeeding
49. Knows this night will ultimately be smooshed into a giant brain-pudding of newborn memories and all you’ll remember are the smiling moments in the photos, not the frustration of waiting for a wailing child to finally close her eyes
50. Pooped
FAQ
- What are the main reasons a baby would cry?
Unexplained Crying: What Causes It?
– Hungry Baby. The most prevalent reason for a baby’s crying is hunger.
– Sleepy Baby. The need for sleep is the second reason why newborns scream.
– We’ve been fed far too much. Overfeeding causes some newborns to cry because their stomachs are swollen.
– Caffeine.
– Clothing.
– Dirty Diaper.
– Colic.
– Pain (Serious). - What are the 3 types of baby cries?
The three types of baby’s cry are:
– Hunger cry: Newborns need to be fed every couple of hours during their first three months of life.
– Colic: Approximately one in every five newborns will cry due to colic pain within the first month following delivery.
– Sleep cry: If your kid is six months old, he or she should be able to fall asleep on his or her own. - Why is my baby screaming for no reason?
Newborns typically cry for 2 to 3 hours every day. A wailing baby, as common as it may be, can be stressful for both infants and parents. Babies cry for no apparent cause at times. Other times, their tears are attempting to communicate with you.
- Can too much crying harm a baby?
“There is no danger in a baby crying excessively if there are no medical difficulties,”. “They may have a raspy voice at first, but they will tired out and stop crying.” It’s also possible that your infant will become gassy as a result of swallowing air while crying, although this is normal.
